Hurry Up Please it's Time

I, like most folks, thoroughly enjoyed both Question Time and Have I Got News for You this week, finding that one has become as much the other, as one another. It's difficult to distinguish between the comedy and the serious scheduling, which tells us as much as we need to know about Westminster, almost as much as we have ever need to have known. Similarly, like most people, I found my laughter particularly reserved for that chap Sheen, who claims that all us simple plebs are jealous; after all, what right have we to interfere with Sheen's right to spend our money, yes, yes, what? What right, he asks. Interestingly the articulation of his 'high-class, low-functioning, but highly-bred line of reasoning seemed to sound remarkably like the sounds of the final nails in the coffin of the pretence that is Westminster. His hollow little meanderings were the secret farewell of all honourable gentlewomen/men, all constructions of authority were drowned out by his clear received pronouncings ...

HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME

The fact that Sheen managed to strike a comic note is much to his credit, indeed. And, I think, that I like most people naturally responded to his little simplicities with the equally simple response that, despite the limited successes and frequent failings, I have remained honest and truthful and, as such, would never think of swapping my position for his, no matter what his Balmoral-like little house and unmanaged little bit of land. No, I can look myself in the eye. I wonder of Sheen and his ilk can do the same and, you know, I have full belief that they can still ...

HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME
HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME

And, the feeling I get toward Sheen and his attitude seems to chime with the feeling I get whenever some unionist chappie or other starts asking for deference. The underlying impression I get with Sheen, and linked into his line of unionist thought, is that I am being asked to kneel when I have known all my life that one must stand, and stand on one's own two feet. It's just a feeling, but it's there, and it always will be there.

Brown Belongs to Hardy

Kickin' back with an afternoon of chess and '60s music is not a bad way to spend a short holiday afternoon and I've just found out we are absolutely going to get a by-election in Glasgow so happy times for now and ahead. It got me thinking, though, about the prospects of an early general election and, though I believe morally there should be a general election, I'm well aware of Brown's reasoning for hanging on, hoping with some hope that his numbers can pick up again, somehow. And why not? Brown has lived his entire essence to be Prime Minister for so darn long that no one cannot expect him to simply hand it over, and, you know, whisper it, in some small way, I do pity the guy, it has all went so horribly wrong. For Brown to call, voluntarily, for an early general election is the political equivalent of Henchard, in The Mayor of Casterbridge, walking off into the distance. Brown described himself as Heathcliff, but Brown belongs to Hardy, only Hardy could write a Gordon Brown.

Thus, an early general election will only come about if Brown is deposed after a terrible Euro-election and English locals. Reading between the lines I do think Alan Johnson is being lined up even though it would be a very difficult process to get rid of Brown, but from what I've seen and heard, I think Johnson could be looking at a move. To be honest, if Johnson were to take-over after a disastrous elections then I think some of the anger directed toward Labour would dissipate just a little, giving Johnson some time to get Labour together for the early election he would be bound to call. Johnson is comfortable with people in a way Brown can only envy, he comes across well on the telly and radio, and he seems like a decent enough sort of chap. He could setady the ship, and I think there are more than a few in Labour who know the ship is sinking, and a steadying of that sinking ship would give them just enought time to save their own careers......

But, then again, it's highly likely not a single soul at the top of Labour wants to touch the leadership with a long pole, preferring to let Brown lead them over-the-top in a year's time, allowing a few to scrap over what remains.I can't, though, envision any other possibility for an early general election. It's clear people are crying out for one, and I think the people deserve one after what we have learned of Westminster goings-on. If Labour get a sufficient enough beating in early June, then we might just, just get one. So just as we know what to do to try and get a victory for the people in Glasgow, people across Scotland and England need to know what to do to get a general election. Check? Check-mate?

Where are the Gentlemen?

I wonder when the time finally and longingly comes for Brown to be forced to call a general election whether we will once again be subjected to the taunts and abuses of the Labour MPs; flinging trials and arrows in the face of the idea of a Scotland that is something other than Labour in Scotland's clientelistic self-image. Are we to be asked once more to accept as truth their fantasy figures of blackholes here, there, a Scottish basket-case, or are such predictions nothing more than subtle prodding reminders of the wonderfulness of the British state structures? Such proclamations of MacChatter, parochialism, and an inward-looking Scotland doomed to the periphery of everything except the British Labour party? I can only presume they'll go a bit gentler this time round.



The expenses scandals have shown us something more than the simple exchange of some votes for the cleaning of some moats. It has revealed the whole constructed exercise in delusion that is the House of Commons. Watch it all, as the next speaker gets dragged to the chair, although this time round perhaps with some less of the constructed smiles, nothing more than delusion. Westminster Palace is a Victorian facade masking a crumbling and neglected foundation. The Mother of Parliaments is a delusion, willed into existence. It is at best the teenager of Parliaments, once assured and outward-looking, but has found the world has changed and has refused to change with it, sitting where it had always sat, in rueful malignancy. Brown described it as a 'gentleman's club' and perhaps one could add, 'but where are the gentlemen?'



This is why Labour will go a bit easier with their insults directed at Scotland. No more a basket-case because the foundations on which they once rested with some self-righteous assurance have shown to be deficient. No more accusations of parochialism because the 'gentleman's club honour' has been shown to be at best a second-rate university's debating chamber. No more conjuring of apocalyptical images of the outside world beyond Westminster control because Westminster itself is nothing more than a third-rate institution in comparison. Finally, Labour might find the real world and, just like Westminster, will find the real world no longer matches their archaic and faintly embarassing conduct.

Catching a Waterfall

I remember glancing just quickly at the Sun's front page on the day of the 07 election and thought for a split second they came out in support of the SNP and then I realised what the picture really was. There is no better example of the way in which the media over-estimate, as you say, their perceived ability to influence things. Such blatant bias can go on only for so long, until people just shrug it off. I quite liked one journo's description of the impossibility of Martin's task trying to handle this expenses scandal as something akin to 'catching a waterfall in a bucket'. The same could perhaps be said for independence. Labour and the Tories may have a very big bucket but, nevertheless, sooner or later, they'll find it does them no good. My advice would for them is to instead go and build a sandcastle, and call it Westminster Renewed. Anyway, onwards and upwards, to something at least a little better than Westminster nonsense of politics.

Ten Years Later

Ten remarkable years behind us and I find it all seems so very much still ahead of us. The idea of 'new politics' was a non-starter, but, big deal, that was all just Labour talk, anyhow. 'Scottish solutions to Scottish problems', more Labour talk: just ask about Scottish solutions to the recession, and watch those little pretendy red rosettes spin in the air as those earnest wee Labour types turn their heels and flee. I like the idea of a pretendy parliament: it's good to talk.It got me a-wondering what other countries this model of union these Labour types advocate as '-ish solutions to -ish problems'. Perhaps these red rosettes would like to travel to Portugal and lecture the Portuguese people about their terrible affliction of independence: devolution, that's what the Portuguese need. In fact, let us all start a fund to send these red rosettes all across Europe on a lecture tour to advocate devolution for all. Lets see how far they'd get. I would suggest thoroughly short shrift would be the order of the day for the most part. And then, back they would come thoroughly dejected, and start lecturing people in Scotland again about the terribleness of independence.



Short shrift; red rosettes, Tories, managed democracy, devolution, ten years. And wars, and WMD, and lies and lectures, and now Westminster grubbing expenses (at least there's some nice bookcases on which to rest the WLQ). I bet you're wondering what all this is called, all this nonsense, for nonsense it is. It is anomie, and there's no getting away from it, it was ushered in by Labour, and Labour will see it out, see it out to the very end.